I don't usually call myself a quitter, but its 5 months now and I am seriously considering it. I keep telling myself things will get better, things will turn around, but its either steady or going downhill. I never dreaded practice/call times/performances at UCI, and if I was late, there was always some kinda reason behind it. Over here, I make myself leave for practice in the last minute until I won't be late. I LOVE walking back to my dorm after practices. On top of that, the days I have practice is another additional day I am pissed at myself. So f*ckin pissed that I am too pussy to admit to myself that I deserve better.
Last night something happened that I don't want to get into further detail, but it ended up with me walking back to the station at 9:30 pm in a city where I had no idea where the f*ck anything was. I dance so often now to release anger, instead of to bring me to a happier place.
This country was just turning into a more exciting place for me on a normal basis. BUT I DONT CARE ANYMOREEEEEEEEEEEE. afjlsafkjdweiwefj, go ahead slap me, b*tch at me, I deserve it for being this weak .