Wednesday, February 18, 2009

It's Over : )

It's official. I quit. It's a done deal. And you know what? It felt sooooo damn good. Like it was healthy for my body. I even went out in my dorm hallway and said "I QUIT" out loud just to hear it echo and echo and echo. Oh yea, I quit my dance circle that I'm in here at Keio University. Why would I want to re-live the social depression when it already drove me insane right?
But I will admit, I did feel a pinch, like a tablespoon...nah maybe a teaspoon full of guilt when I told them. It was sudden news for them, but What Can You Do? You really thought I was joking when I told you this news? When I was treated like a straight-up foreigner? When I refused and screamed in my head to behave in a pathetic way to show "respect" to the upper-classmen? Hit that bitch with a bottle.

On top of that I want to thank quite a handful of my treasures--my friends, the ones back at home, and ESPECIALLY THE ONES in Japan, who talked the sense out of me and was basically everything NOT that the circle was. Surprisingly, the 2 people that I told in the circle who remained to be genuinely friendly to me, were not wholly shocked to hear that I suddenly wanted to quit. I hope this country will breed more natives like them <3 Good Luck Japan.
Anyway, I have a feeling this girl is reading this so I really wanted to give a shout out to Erica S. Lampkin. That night I really needed an American blooded person to blab to, and God gave her to me at the wee hours of 1:30 am? She even just came back from Taiwan that night and ugh, although I don't talk to her as much as I should, she gave me responses that I needed to hear.

CADC, I know you guys may be disappointed that I quit dancing, but I'm not. I'll take classes on a weekly basis and such please don't worry (honestly I'm more scared than you guys are). The experience of love you guys show to me, No to everybody equally in the team, would probably be preposterous if the Japanese dance circle here knew about it. (If they caked me, I would've honestly said F*CK TRADITION and not kid about it. ) Gawd, you guys spoiled me...

From now on, just Happy posts. The Good Garbage of Japan. Yeah.

Steven Ni made (MYFAVORITE) banana cream pie. Happy thoughts already -___-


  1. we are not disappointed! we love you!
    and who is this steven ni gentleman!

  2. i agree with jungle, disappointment is the last thing i feel.

    and don't feel bad about the journal - i'm glad it's giving you an outlet. that's what it's for, woman. :) i'd rather you scribble all over the pages, spill some coffee on it, get it a little damp from the rain outside... than have it sitting on your desk untouched.

    and i don't know the full extent of everything that went on with the team in japan, but i really think everything you learned here made it very easy to see what it is you wanted in ANY group of people (family) you're involved with. it's not about "giving up" or "quitting" but making a decision for YOURSELF and what you think is right for you.

    so, ultimately... i'm proud of you. and miss you bunches.

  3. Tina, i'm planning on making either tiramisu or chocolate mousse next. but im sure you can get baller versions of those in japan. SAVE ME A BAGEL. airport bagel.

  4. Oh no you diin't start a blog and not tell me fool! Hahaha jkjk. I am going to stalk you now, though. I'm super proud of you Tinatomo!<3